Relapsing alcohol: The facts about alcohol relapse

It’s Sober October.

Alcohol is an addictive substance.

This means that by this point in October, most people will have gone back to drinking. We know that 67% of those doing Dry Jan without support will fail, so if you’ve messed up your sober October you’re actually quite normal.

Don’t beat yourself up. All is not lost, you’re not a failure, and you can start the process of sobriety or sober curiosity again today.

Here’s why alcohol relapse is very normal, even among those who aren’t diagnosed with Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD).

Why Is It So Hard To Stop Drinking?

It’s not you, it’s your brain.

Alcohol affects the brain’s reward system, especially dopamine and GABA neurotransmission giving it that moreish quality that lingers in our minds. Chemically, it’s an exciting substance for the brain and this makes it incredibly hard to resist.

As such, most people who want to stop drinking aren’t able to quit the first time they try, or the second, or the third. It’s very common to experience unintentional relapse, whether you’re a diagnosed addict or just someone who wants to stop drinking for health and wellbeing.

Bottom line: It’s hard to stop drinking alcohol and you’re completely normal if you failed a challenge like Sober October. Even if you're not diagnosed with a drinking problem, cutting back on alcohol or cutting it out completely is a challenge due to complex brain chemistry.

Alcohol Relapse: What Is It?

Alcohol relapse means returning to drinking after a period of stopping or cutting back.

It’s a common misconception that only addicts can relapse. While it’s important to note the unique struggles of those with diagnosed Alcohol Use Disorder, you don’t need to fit the criteria for AUD to experience relapse. It simply means returning to alcohol after a period of abstinence. 

Alcohol’s psychological and biological pull is very strong, and under stress or triggers, even those without diagnosed AUD can relapse unintentionally.

How Common Is Alcohol Relapse?

Very, very common.

Studies show that whether you’re suffering from addiction, or just trying to give up your regular weekend drinks, returning to alcohol when you want to go sober is really, really common. 

Approximately 70% of people with alcohol use disorder will experience a relapse at some point, with most occurring in the first year. Meanwhile, 30% of drinkers not diagnosed with Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) will also fail to stop drinking in year one even though they’re not technically physically addicted.

So, you’re very normal if you struggle to stop drinking right away, and returning to alcohol when you didn't intend to is sometimes part of the process of understanding your relationship with alcohol. 

Important note: Those with AUD returning to alcohol use should always consult a doctor immediately. Returning to alcohol with diagnosed AUD, while normal, can be very dangerous due to the lowered tolerance to alcohol and effects on the body.

How Many People Have A Negative Relationship With Alcohol?

More than is openly spoken about.

About 1 in 10 adults who drink alcohol will develop some level of dependency or addiction, and that’s just those who report it. The figures for those who suffer in silence would likely be a lot higher.

Even among those who aren’t necessarily dependent, 24% of the adult population in England, including 33% of men and 16% of women, consume alcohol in a way that is potentially or actually harmful to their health or wellbeing.

That’s a large chunk of people who know their consumption harms them, but find it very challenging to cut down or quit. An all or nothing mindset usually further exacerbates this problem, leading to a sense of failure when something like a Sober October challenge isn’t completed.

But really, it's to be expected that a regular drinker might fail a month ban on drinking. Alcohol’s addictiveness ranks among the top four most addictive substances known, just behind heroin, nicotine, and cocaine. You wouldn't expect a seasoned smoker to just quit for a month on a whim - it could be done but would be very hard. Meanwhile, stopping drinking is treated as an easy feat when it's similarly addictive.

Does Relapse Mean You Can’t Stop Drinking?

No. It simply means you returned to drinking, but not that you won’t succeed in cutting back or abstaining in the future.

With alcohol relapse for those with AUD, the risk is highest early on and declines the longer you remain abstinent. For example, after 5 years of abstinence, less than 15% of people will return to drinking.

Relapse does not ruin the possibility of recovery whether you have AUD or not - many people recover after relapse, often with better strategies.

Do I Have A Drinking Problem?

Knowing whether you have a problem with alcohol is an individual assessment that should be done with the help of professionals.

Just because you failed a challenge like sober October doesn't mean that you have a problem with drinking. That said, drinking can still be a problem for you.

If it negatively affects your life, it might be worth assessing your relationship with alcohol and putting steps in place to cut down your intake. Speak to your GP for advice.

A New Mindset

Alcohol relapse doesn’t mean failure; it’s a signal that something in your coping strategies, environment, or mindset isn’t supporting your goals.

Relapse can be used as a tool to bring awareness & further growth.

Here are a few tips to move forward.

- Get curious about your alcohol use.

- Reflect on motivations for stopping.

- Identify any triggers that might have impacted the return to alcohol.

- Explore the feelings alcohol gives you and why you crave that.

- Seek to understand what role alcohol has played in your life — socially, emotionally, or psychologically?

- Consider what a truly healthy relationship with alcohol looks like for you.

- Focus on positives from this experience & forward action.

12 Journal Prompts After Alcohol Relapse

Do I want to quit completely, or aim for controlled drinking?

What need was I trying to meet when I drank (relief, escape, connection, celebration, control)?

After I drank, how did I feel physically and emotionally?

What are the main reasons I want to change?

What warning signs did I miss before the relapse that I can watch for next time?

What’s different now compared to before the relapse that could help me succeed?

What do I believe alcohol gives me that I can’t get another way?

How does drinking align (or not align) with the person I want to be?

What would make it easier for me to stay sober (or reduce drinking)?

How will I measure progress on this journey in a realistic, self-compassionate way?

How do I want to describe my relationship with alcohol one year from now?

How can I use what I’ve learned to build a stronger foundation moving forward?

Your Next Steps

Relapse is not a failure - it’s a signal. 

It’s an opportunity to pause, reflect, and gain a deeper understanding of your relationship with alcohol. These experiences provide valuable insight that can guide you toward healthier habits, stronger self-knowledge, and a more balanced, intentional life. 

Resources

Drinkline
A free, confidential helpline for individuals concerned about their own or someone else’s drinking.
 📞 0300 123 1110 (Weekdays: 9am–8pm; Weekends: 11am–4pm)

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
Offers a 12-step program for those struggling with alcohol dependence.
📞 0800 9177 650
 🌐 alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

DAN 24/7

A free, confidential helpline offering support for individuals affected by drugs and alcohol.
 📞 0808 808 2234

Alcohol Change UK
Offers information, support, and resources for individuals concerned about their drinking.
 🌐 alcoholchange.org.uk

NHS Alcohol Support

Provides information on alcohol misuse, treatment options, and how to access support services.

🌐 NHS Alcohol Support

Talk to Frank

Offers confidential advice and information about drugs and alcohol, including a service to find local support near you.

🌐 talktofrank.com